05 Mar The Family as God Intended
God’s concept of the family stems from Genesis when he created Adam and Eve. It was after He created eve that He instituted the first institution which is marriage, and then gave them the commandment to be fruitful, multiply, replenish the earth, subdue and have dominion over everything he created. We have seen in the message about marriage about God’s desire for marriage to be between a man and a woman, being the bone of each other’s bone and flesh of each other’s flesh and united. In marriage, it is God’s plan for both the man and the woman to provide for the family, care and work to dominate all God created, but the question now is how? The family comprises of the man(husband/father), the woman (wife/mother), children, and each has a role to play in the home and in fulfilment of God’s command to mankind.
As the husband and father, you are the head and leader of your home, so the entire household submits to your leadership. The man ought to be standing firm in the ways of the Lord. Psalm 1 talks about the blessed man, who does not stand in the path of sinners nor sits in the seat of the scornful, but his delight is in the law of the Lord and in that law, he meditates day and night and he becomes like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in due season, his leaves do not wither and whatever he does prospers. This is also the picture of the ideal man, husband and father. This man is so rooted in God that it is through his leading that he find a good wife and obtains favour from the Lord. He is a role model to everyone in his household both the wife, children and even the stewards.
The man’s first duty is to his wife, as her husband. His children are watching closely how he treats their mother as that forms their understanding of love, relationship and how they will grow up to be in their respective homes and how they treat their spouse. The bible makes it clear that he is to love his wife like Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. Therefore as a husband, you need to stop thinking only about yourself, but about yourself and the needs of your family, so you should be able to give up yourself for your wife. Giving up yourself means, being able to give up your comfort or pleasures for the sake of your family. It is super important for you to be vocal and very expressive in how you show love to your wife, and how you exhibit the fruits of the spirit in your attitude towards her and the children, because children are like a plain slate, tabula rasa, and you write on it by your behaviour. They learn by imitation and emulation and they pick up their character, mannerisms from you. So be loving, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, joyful, and filled with self-control as you relate with your wife and children. DO not disrespect your wife and belittle her because you are the head. You are a leader, not a boss. As the proverbs 31 man, encourage her, help her to be the best she can be, respect her, trust her. She is an equal partner with you under God, so do well to carry her along in every one of your decisions, and planings. Dialogue and agree on everything.
As a wife, your first duty is to your husband, to love and honour him and submit to his leadership. Your attitude towards him should be that of love, honour, respect, encouragement, trust and all the fruits of the spirit. You are also a role model for your children, As you submit to the leadership of your husband, you are teaching your children to submit to authority. They will learn to respect their elders, their teacher, the law etc. Don’t let strife and nagging be heard in your household, instead let the sound of joy and laughter continually be in your household such that your children and husband look forward to being home, as they see the home as a place of peace, joy, laughter and a place they can feel a hundred percent comfortable in being themselves. Like the proverbs 31 woman, be hardworking and industrious. Your duty is also to nurture your children in love and be that solid pillar of support that they can rely on, such that they can confide and seek your counsel and advice.
As a father and mother, your duty to your children is to be their mentor and show them fatherly and motherly love and respect. Talk, listen, play and respect them. Teach them life lessons, how to work, good work ethics and principles,. Let them know and abide by your values, ethics, godly character. This way they are well rounded and can grow up to subdue and dominate the world. Most importantly, be their spiritual role model. The father stands as a priest of the household, to teach them the way of God, and nurture good godly character and attributes, and as a mother, you are to reinforce these teachings as well. Both of you should each them to pray, and go through the scriptures with them, dissecting the word of God with them, and ensure they have a true and strong conviction for what they believe. Don’t impose your way on them but let there be a dialogue and discussion about all kinds of topics in the scriptures and about life, family, love, sex, education, holy spirt, rapture, career, religion etc so that they can understand the way of God well and believe it and have a strong conviction for why they have that certain godly viewpoint about every issue and can boldly talk about their stand and conviction and defend their stand. This way, the world cannot sway them away from the way of the Lord by its earthly logic, science and arguments. Stand in the gap for them in prayer and let your incense of prayer continually go up to God for them.
As children, your duty is to honour and respect your parents. This is a command that is tied to a blessing of long life and prosperity, so if you want to live long and prosper you need to honour and respect your parents in the Lord. They are there to guide you in the right path, so it would do you much good to abide by their leadership. Your first task is to love your parents. Love them purely and unconditionally, as a baby does. No matter how old you are, never stop showing love to your parents If you do not have godly parents, it is important that you pray for them and live right so that through your character they can be drawn to the Lord. Also, get godly mentors to be your Godparents and submit to their leadership, so you can gain the right knowledge and support to be successful in your Christian race.
Collectively, let love bind you. Forgive quickly and easily. Treat one another as you want to be treated. Support, encourage, and provide for one another, and most importantly, pray for one another. God bless you.